Thursday, January 27, 2011

Ultrasound for baby #3

We had our first ultrasound last week. The gender wasn't going to be a public announcement because Melissa thinks its SO much fun to not know what it is, so we weren't going to tell her. She asked the one person who didn't swear not to tell what it was....Kyah. A 4 year old! So the cat's out of the bag. It's another girl, due June 20, 2011. She appears to be totally healthy and growing well. Surprisingly, she is actually measuring a day ahead of her due date. With both Kyah and Spencer, they were both smaller and measured 4-5 days behind. Maybe she'll be a little bigger when she's born or won't be a week late. The only problem they saw was the placement of the placenta. It's at the bottom and shouldn't be. She said I will eventually have to get another ultrasound to make sure it moves before I get to the end. Let's hope! Now let the name battle begin!

This somewhat disturbing looking picture is her face from the front. (You can see the two eye sockets and the skeletal opening of her mouth.) The little line below her head is her arm bone and if you look very closely, you can see her little fingers resting on her cheek. Little poser already.

And obviously, this is her foot. Kyle was curious how big it was so she measured and it was an inch long.

Now with that being said and enough time passing, I want to vent for a second. Baby girl was not our first pregnancy last year and I just have to say, I can not believe how insensitive some people can be when it comes to miscarriage. Insensitive is not the right word to describe those who were trying to console with "at leasts", but one word of advice. Don't. Don't try to console someone who has just had a miscarriage by saying, "well, at least it wasn't your first baby" or "at least you were only __ weeks along" or "at least you've only had one." So many people had a comment like this to make to me and they DON'T help. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate everyone who tried to be supportive. But it really really sucks no matter which number pregnancy it is or how far along you were. I DO realize that I am fortunate that I wasn't 12 weeks in or had multiple miscarriages or that I am able to have children at all. And I would feel horrible for someone who was so excited to get pregnant for the first time, only to lose it. They are all things I said to myself. But it doesn't lessen my own feelings of loss and sadness. The very worst was someone who knew about my miscarriage, when talking in a group of pregnant women all due around the same time I was, actually told me I missed the boat. Really? Totally hurtful and unnecessary.
I was talking to a friend about how blown away I was by people's ability to be so insensitive and she shared her own story with me. I was appalled! (I'm retelling it as best as I can recall!) She's been told she will never be able to conceive. So they adopted a beautiful little princess over 4 years ago. Not too long after the adoption, by a miracle, she became pregnant, and even made it far enough into the pregnancy to be able to hear the heartbeat, but then dealt with the tragic loss of miscarrying. She moved shortly after this and assumed she wouldn't have to deal with people knowing. One woman in their new ward knew she had been pregnant and she had to tell her. The woman actually looked at her young daughter and said something to the affect of, "it's probably for the best, it looks like you have your hands full." I am floored at how ignorant some people can be.